I'm a wannabe exerciser. What's a wannabe exerciser you ask? It's a person who really hates to exercise but knows that he or she should. That's me. Everything I read in magazines or see on TV tells me I should exercise regularly. I wish I could ignore all this media hype, but I can't. I just hate to sweat, pant, and ache. I'm a slacker. There, I've said it.

I'm afflicted with "exercise envy." I look at my friends who regularly exercise and envy their motivation. I live in a health conscious neighborhood and as I drive to work in the mornings, I see young mothers running behind babies who are tucked in environmentally correct hunter green jogging strollers. I sneer as I think, "who the heck invented a jogging stroller and why?" 35 years ago,when my daughter was born, we just walked with our strollers. Stroller comes from the word "stroll" which according to the dictionary means, "meander, amble, ramble, and saunter." That's more like it. Unfortunately, after 35 years, I still meander, ramble and saunter a little too often. Hence the cellulite on my thighs.

My neighbor Steve who is in his 50's, recently finished first place in a triathlon. I try to be happy for him, but I just can't be. At neighborhood parties he carries his glass of Perrier like some trophy, while I'm slurping my 3rd Cosmo. I try to avoid him.

So I tell myself, the time has finally come. I'm going to get serious about starting and sticking with an exercise program. As I gather my research, I find an article entitled "How to get fit and make it fun." Perfect! The person who wrote it was probably a size 4 with 15% body fat. Not exactly someone I can relate to, but she obviously knows more than me. The article seemed simple enough. It listed 4 common sense tips that promised the reader a life of fitness and fun.

Tip 1- Exercise early in the morning before your day gets busy.

I'm not a morning person. I even painted the snooze button on my alarm clock with glow in the dark paint so I can't miss it. But the new me can forego that extra hour of sleep to get my workout out of the way. Not only will I be energized and more productive at work, I even get to brag to my coworkers who also have "exercise envy."

To get myself out of the house at an ungodly hour, I rely on the advice of my girlfriend Ellen. Ellen, who is a workout nut, tells me to pack my car the night before with my office clothes, hair and makeup supplies. I do as I am told. As the alarm blares at 6:00 the next morning, I resist the urge to press the snooze button. I crawl out of bed, throw cold water on my face, put my workoutclothes on, and get into my pre-packed car. I'm feeling better already. After my workout and shower, I return to my locker to get dressed for work. I am horrified to see that I forgot to pack my blouse - the blouse that goes with my embarrassingly open suit jacket. It is now 7:30 and at 8:30 that morning, I have to give a presentation to an important client of mine. Since my house is 45 min each way in rush hour, there is no time to go home to get the blouse. I frantically search for a solution. Can I jimmy the locker next to me and "borrow" another blouse? No - too many people around. So with my towel still wrapped around me, I look in vain at my belongings. I see my sweaty t-shirt crumpled in the bottom of the locker. I pull it out and the frog from "Senior Frogs, Matzalan, Mexico" emblem is staring at me in full site on the front of the shirt. I have nothing against frogs but this wasn't the time to display one to my client. But I notice the back of the shirt is plain and white. If nothing else, I am resourceful. I put the shirt on backward but I didn't realize that most t-shirts collars are higher in the back than in the front. So, even though the collar cut into my double chin, I gave my presentation with the false confidence that looked like I had just designed the newest fashion trend. So much for exercising early in the morning...

Tip 2- Park your car at the far end of the shopping center parking lot and walk that extra distance to your destination.

This tip might make sense to the average person, but I am one of those lucky ones who have really good parking karma. From a good four rows away, I can spot the reverse lights of a car as it backing out from the coveted spot right next to the handicap parking. By the time the other cars notice my treasure, I've swiftly maneuvered my vehicle, like Mario Andretti, through the lot and my turn signal is happily blinking away as my spot opens up. The dismayed looks I see on the other drivers' faces are enough to make me gloat for the whole shopping trip. So I have to say, while I wholeheartedly agree with Tip 2, my rare parking skill is really hard to give up. I owe it to the higher power who blessed me with it to use it for my greater good.

Tip 3- Take the stairs instead of the elevator.

I work on the 23rd floor of my building. That's a lot of exercise. I didn't even know where our stairwell was. So when I read Tip 3, I went looking for it. In plain site was the sign that made my day … "Alarm will sound if door is opened." The elevator gods were obviously looking out for me. No more guilt while gliding up my 23 floors.

Tip 4- Get an exercise buddy to work out with.

Since my morning workouts were a thing of the past, I made a pact with myfriend Eileen to walk every evening after work. What better way to bond with a friend while doing something good for myself? We were actually having a lot of fun and our bodies were looking better. Our evening walks started to attract attention. Some of the other neighborhood women asked if they could join us. Pretty soon, we had a herd. Dinner times were being disrupted. Husbands and kids were protesting, but we marched on. Funny thing about large groups. You get a lot of anonymity. When I dropped out after a month, no one noticed. I actually moved to a new neighborhood, but to this day, my former neighbors still think I'm walking with them. It's the best of all worlds.

So maybe I'm a hopeless case. But I won't give up on my dream of getting fit. Some day I'll transform from being a wannabe exerciser to the real thing.

Written by Stephanie Rhodes, Co-creator of The Fitness Challenge™
Copyright © 2005, The Fitness Challenge, Inc.